I had a fight with Tracey this morning … 😟
Its the same fight we have when things get to much …
T: You don’t help me enough around the house.
G: Just tell me what you need help with and I’ll do it.
T: I shouldn’t need to ask or tell you … you should just see what needs done and do it…
G: I’m sorry, my mind is elsewhere, I have 2 businesses to run, house work isn’t my focus
T: That’s the problem all you think about is Business
G: Yes, I do think about Business a lot as there is a lot that I do behind the scenes that you don’t see
T: I’m in Business to you know , plus I run the house and kids, so I have to think about everything and everyone
G: Why can’t you just ask when you need help ?
T: Why can’t you just help me when you can see I need help ?
Conversation was going round in circles , 2 stubborn Adults getting nowhere …
After 10 mins Tracey came and said I feel Unsupported , I apologised, we hugged and then I went for my morning walk
On my walk I realised I wasn’t listening properly (again) and that yes the house work was the trigger but Tracey feels unsupported in general and by me saying “Just ask if you need help” in her language was you don’t love me Unconditionally enough to make it a priority to do more to support me …
A complete Reframe from a fight around housework to someone needing more support from me outside of how I give her support
Why am I telling you this story
1️⃣ Because so many Married Men have this same fight, our Ego responds to the circumstances without seriously consideration the true underlying cause
2️⃣ Men have be programmed for Generations to be Providers and Protectors. This is why we believe so deeply that if I provide Financial Security and Safety then I am supporting my wife…
3️⃣ Your Wife needs Emotional Support, Care and Love… We Men need to learn how to do this without falling back into Provider/Protector mode
I’ve been Married to Tracey 19 years and I’m still learning how to be a great Husband …
It takes continued focus and work ourselves through education, healing, self awareness and reflection… To learn when we are evolving or falling back into old Egoic programs
How do you support your Wife the way she truly needs it?